But for some reason, making your painted nails look good is nearly impossible! And if you’ve got it down perfect, you’re probably in the minority. What’s so hard about it? Well first, to paint your right nails you have to do it with your left hand (or vice versa if you’re left handed) so you have to learn to be a little ambidextrous. And it’s not like coloring . . . it’s more like painting! But seriously, the more strokes you take, the worse it looks, just like if you’re painting a wall or a barn or whatever it is that tgirls might paint.

Don’t fret though, I have tips for you! First, buy decent nail polish. I know I say this all the time, but it’s really true – if you get the $1 bottle that’s been sitting in the discount bin for a couple years, it will be like painting with snot And nailpolish is the most likely of all your makeups to go bad – if it starts getting tacky, get rid of it!

Next, store your nailpolish in the fridge – this limits the evaporation (keeps longer) and makes it spread/coat easier. Sort of like adding reversible paint thinner

Be aware that there are a couple different types of nail polish – some are thinner and runnier, some are thicker. The thicker stuff usually gives a brighter color in a single coat, but it’s also more difficult to avoid streaks. There is some really great runny nail polish out there that still gives saturated colors. But unfortunately no one labels nailpolish as to how runny it is – you just have to try a few. There’s also regular nailpolish and quickdry. Personally I don’t see much difference between them though, and any more most nail polish in the store is actually quick dry.

Ok, when you get your nail polish out to paint your nails, don’t shake it. What Yes, you heard me, don’t shake it. Instead, roll it back and forth between your hands. You know, like your back in gradeschool making a clay snake. Do it fast because you want to mix it up, but the idea is to avoid introducing air bubbles which make a mess on your nails.

Now that you’re ready to apply your nail polish, pull the brush out running one of the flat sides along the edge of the bottle to wipe off pretty much all of the polish on that side. Then touch the paint coated side of the brush against the side of the bottle too so that you dab off about half of the drop of polish. That should be about the amount of nail polish you’ll want to do a single nail, though obviously it varies with the size of your nails, which nail you are painting, etc.

Start with a stroke down the very center of your nail, from cuticle to tip. Be careful lining things up when you put the brush down and pull it back up at the end of the stroke, but apply enough pressure that the bristles fan out a bit. One stroke only down the center! Then go back and take a single stroke down each side of the nail, slightly overlapping the center stroke. Then you’re done. Don’t touch it again The only exception is if you have some rough edges at the tip of your nail, you can run the edge of the brush (not the tip!) over those to fill them in. If you’re not satisfied, forget about it for the moment, do the rest of your nails, let them dry (completely!), and add a second coat to fill in.

If you get a little sloppy with your nail polish, the most amazing thing to remove the excess is . . . a fingernail. Seriously, take the tip of another nail (preferably on the opposite hand, and one that hasn’t been painted yet if you have the option ) and scrape off the excess while it’s still wet. If you *really* make a mess, you can always put some nail polish remover on a tissue or makeup wipe and get it that way.

Speaking of nailpolish remover. I always go with the hardcore full acetone formula. Because my biggest concern is making sure that I get all of the polish off. I don’t use it often enough to justify needing a less harsh chemical (ie an acetone free version). Plain old non-frilly nailpolish remover is the most effective, and the cheapest. So I’d recommend that unless you have some special needs. And in a pinch, use paint thinner or household acetone.

Ok, down to business. Your lips need 3 things. Lipstick, and . . . and . . . At a loss for the other items? That’s what I was afraid of. If you’ve ever wondered why your lipstick always looks smudged or crooked, or why it looks rough or splotchy . . . it’s because you’re missing two very important steps!

First thing’s first, keep your lips moisturized. Buy chapstick and use it. Just your everyday Blistex or Vaseline lip stuff for everyday when you’re not crossdressing. If you have dry lips, the cracked skin will catch on your lipstick and peel off chunks of color, making your lips look rough and splotchy. You may also want gloss to put on over your lipstick depending on what kind you’re using – gloss is really just chapstick for girls, keeping your lips moisturized and making them shiny. Sometimes it has a little color too, but usually not much. Not suitable for your every day stuff, or you might get some strange looks.

Ok, the second item you need is lip liner. This looks like eyeliner (and really is the same stuff, just in different colors), and is a heavier makeup than your lipstick. It will do 2 things for you – help define your lips, and prevent your lipstick from smearing. “Normally” you would pick a lip liner that matches your lipstick color, but you can get some neat effects by pairing a lighter color (ie pink with red lipstick) or a darker color (ie maroon with red lipstick). Just experiment, as long as the colors compliment eachother.

Now you’re ready to actually put your makeup on. Start with the lip liner and outline your lips. Be really careful with this step as it’s easy to make things lopsided. You want to trace the edge of where your pinkish lip color fades into your regular skin color. Err to the inside unless you have really thin lips, and make sure you have a constant and smooth stroke width. The lines for your upper lip and lower lip should meet at the corners of your mouth, but should not really be connected. And your upper lip has a little “divot” in the middle, so make sure you trace down into that. If you don’t have a divot, or have a really small one, exaggerate a little.

Ok, now get out the lipstick and fill in your outline. You don’t want to put lipstick overtop the lip liner, so stay inside the lines! I keep the point of my lipstick up because I want a fine point to trace the edge of my thinner upper lip as the wider portion of the lipstick fills in below, and then on my lower lip I don’t need fine control along the bottom edge and it just feels more comfortable. Anyway, don’t fuss about filling everything in or getting right to the edge. Just put it on inside the lip liner outline, a little heavier than you think you need to.

Now squish your lips together (with your lip muscles, not your fingers!) and move your upper and lower lips against eachother both in and out and side to side. The idea here is to spread the lipstick around evenly, so don’t go to extremes and spread it off your lips, but you can be fairly aggressive about it. I don’t know why it works, but your lips seem to naturally stop against eachother just right to spread the lipstick everywhere. If you do get a little carried away, use your fingernail to scrape away lipstick in places where you don’t want it.

Ok, last step, add some gloss. And now you’ve got crossdresser lips the gg’s can drool over

First thing’s first, start with the lightest color of the least precise makeup you’re going to apply. Probably eyeshadow. Now here’s where most of the trouble comes in – you don’t want to smear your entire eyelid with eyeshadow. I tend to think that crossdressers look better with a bright or bold eyeshadow which emphasizes that they are in fact wearing makeup (as opposed to going for that really subtle natural look), but please, you do not want to look like Mimi from The Drew Carey Show.

There are 2 primary locations where you want eyeshadow: along the bottom edge of your eyelid, and along the top of your eyelid. You can use the same color in both locations, or you can do color on the bottom and brown or white on top, or two different colors . . . play around with it to get the effect you want. Notice, however, that for most cases there is no makeup above the eyelid (other than what bleeds over from the width of your brush when you follow the top edge of your lid), and there is no makeup below the eye. There are certain special effects that involve makeup in these areas, but unless you’re experimenting or are comfortable with what you’re doing, I would avoid it.

Ok, so pick up some of the lightest color you plan to use and apply it in a smooth one-directional stroke. From the nose outward is easiest I think. Go ahead and follow the full path you want the eyeshadow to follow, but your brush will probably be running dry at the end of the stroke. Pick up some more eyeshadow on your brush and start from the center of your eye and make a stroke outwards to fill in from your last stroke. Grab some more eyeshadow and go back over everything again, blending the separate strokes together.

Now you can fill in the upper stroke or darker stroke, whichever it happens to be. You can blend the colors together in the center of your eyelid a bit, but it won’t matter too much if you don’t – you rarely ever see that part of a person’s eyelid anyway!

Ok, now time for eyeliner, another tricky task. Eyeliner is (usually) really dark!! That means anywhere it goes, it’s going to show up. So all you have to do is make sure it only goes where you want it to . . . I know, easier said than done if you’ve ever tried before, but you’ll be surprised how easy it really is with this little trick . . . Stretch your eyelid out to the side (see the pic). The idea here is to make the bottom edge of your eyelid taught – pull out all the wrinkles, and keep it from moving under the drag of the eyeliner pencil. Also notice the beautiful two-tone eyeshadow that’s been applied in this photo

Ok, I know I said it’s easy, but you still have to be careful . . . apply your eyeliner S-L-O-W-L-Y, keep it as close to the edge of your lashes as you possibly can, and don’t worry about using a continuous stroke. It’s much more important to adjust your grip on your eyelid skin with your off hand to make sure it doesn’t start moving or bunching from the drag of the pencil. The eyeliner should be dark enough that you won’t even have to bother blending the different strokes together, so start and stop often, checking your progress as you go.

With a little luck, your eyes will look like the below pictures (eyes closed, and eyes open). It might take a few times, but don’t worry, you’ll get there.

Ok, last step is mascara. No pics of this, but I think you’ll figure it out. The trick with mascara is to brush from the base of the lashes outwards, and to twirl the brush as you move it. Rotating the brush makes sure that you get good contact between as many brush surfaces as possible with your lash. Make sure you keep the lashes as parallel as you can, and use 2 strokes, one for your inside lashes (near your nose) and one for your outside lashes. And don’t forget your bottom lashes! You probably don’t need to twirl the brush on the bottom lashes, a few short strokes should do nicely.

Some people say you should move the mascara brush back and forth as you take a stroke, but a) this is only necessary if you have a *really* crappy mascara brush, and b) it encourages clumping both of the mascara, and your lashes. Don’t let your lashes stick together when applying mascara (thus keeping them parallel). If you remember that, you’ll be fine.

And that’s it, now you should have gorgeous crossdresser eyes

I’m going to fly in the face of modern dermatology here, but you’re going to want a good thick cream foundation. Everyone these days uses powders or liquids or whipped foundation because they are lighter and let your natural skin color show . . . and they don’t clog your pores. But they also don’t cover up stubble. And I’m not talking about “I didn’t bother to shave this morning” stubble, most modern foundations won’t ever cover “I just shaved 5 min ago” stubble. Unless you are lucky enough to have really fine hair, in which case ignore everything I say.

Don’t fret too much if you need cream coverup, you probably don’t wear it often enough or long enough to worry about clogging your pores – remember most gg’s wear the stuff 12 hours a day every day! The only trick is finding the stuff (and in the right color). Look for makeup in a compact, not in a bottle or jar. And make sure it says “cream”. Neutrogena makes a pretty decent one if you need a place to start looking. Or you can try Ultima II which is available off of Amazon, but it’s a bit light on coverage for a cream.

Colors have semi-standardized names, so you can guess a little bit, but your best bet is to go into a store and compare the color sticker on the package to the skin on your wrist (palm side). You’ll probably want something just a tiny bit darker than your skin if you’re in between shades, otherwise get the closest match. If you’re guessing from the names, here’s a basic guide. “Ivory” is the lightest shade and has little color in it. “Natural”, “Amber”, or “Nude” are light skintones with some color in them (not color as in tan, but color as in more yellow than grey). “Buff” and “Beige” are usually medium tones but with a bit less yellow (leaning towards grey). “Golden” and “Honey” are medium tones with color. “Tan”, “Almond”, and “Cocoa” are exactly what they sound like. And of course there are combinations of the colors like “Natural Ivory”. And then sometimes the colors just make no sense. If you’re just looking at the colors on your computer screen though, err on the light side – most people guess a little too dark, and because your screen is backlit colors will look brighter than they are in real life.

Before you apply your new makeup, take a shower. Seriously. And wash your face, but don’t over-do it – you want to get any dead/dry skin off, but you don’t want to dry your face out and created new dead skin either. Stay in the shower for awhile with pleasantly warm water . . . makes a great time to shave your legs too. Now, if you want great makeup, apply a quick and thin coat of foundation while your face is still damp (not dripping, just damp). The moisture will keep the makeup spread out thin. Go cool off and dry yourself off, letting the foundation set up. Obviously don’t touch your face for a few min or stick it in a towel!

When you’ve got your foundation in hand and are ready to apply it (this goes for the base coat if you put one on, or your “topcoat”), use a sponge or cotton pad – lots of coverup will come with a sponge anyway, which is great. “Brush” in the direction of hair growth as a general rule, unless you find a little hair that you missed when shaving in which case go over it in the opposite direction first and then in the direction of growth. Spread the foundation out thin at first, you don’t want cakes of it, and you can always go back over and add more if you really need. Keep it off your eyebrows and hair, because that just looks funny. Feel free to go over your eyelids and lips though, as that will help keep your eyeshadow and lipstick in place when you apply them overtop the foundation. And don’t forget the little places, like the undersides of your eyes, and underneath your nose. Take the foundation all the way down your neck, but spread it out *really* thin towards the base of your neck – you want it to cover any stubble down your neck, but the color needs to fade out to your natural skin gradually. Don’t rub it in, just gentle strokes in one direction.

That’s it, all there is to it Ok, that plus a LOT of practice. But you’ll get the hang of it. And don’t worry, it may not look like much, but you’re well on your way to being one hot crossdresser :bubbles: